The First Secret
by ShayMitchCanada
Summary: Emily Fields never imagined her life to be the way it is now, she never imagined coming out to her parents to be this bad. Her life was a mess, that was until she met a certain blonde who she imagined she could spend the rest of her life with. Rated M for issues of self harming AND also rated M for later chapters. Just borrowing character's from ABC Family's "Pretty Little Liars"
1. Chapter 1

Emily's POV:

August 1st 2012, the day my whole life turned upside down, it was the day I came out to my parents, the day I was disowned as their daughter. My mother had told me it made her sick to her stomach knowing her own child is gay. I was an only child; to my parents they felt as if they failed to raise one kid. They were known as hardcore Christians, of course it sickened them. I'm a disgrace. My parents never kicked me out, in their minds it was a choice for me to feel this way. If you asked me I wouldn't have chosen to feel this way, I would have chose to be straight. I continued living with them, hating every second in that house, there were so many times I thought about running away, so many times I thought about ending my life right there and then. I ended up being the girl I never thought I'd become, as days passed I began harming myself. My excuses were that physical pain covers emotional pain. I was right that's exactly how I felt; every cut gave me relief each time, sliding the blade across my skin as the blood poured out like a fountain. The blood represented my emotional pain, I felt like crap for the longest time. That was until school started, September 12th 2012.

* * *

It was the first day of school; summer had been pretty dramatic, with things still being tense at home. The only time things felt calm was either when I was with Spencer and Aria or when I cut. Although going to school sucked it was much better than being at home, school felt like a 6 hour vacation spending almost every minute with my two friends. Thankfully I had first period with them. School had been going pretty well, little did I know it got even better, the second day I noticed a blonde girl, she sat at the front of the class, her hair was perfectly curled. She had piercing blue eyes. I had several instincts that she and I would be good friends, after pondering many thoughts I decided to go to talk to her.

"Hi, I'm Emily Fields. Are you new here?" I asked.

"Hanna Marin, and yes I actually just transferred this year", she said.

The conversation continued on for a while, Hanna asked me many questions; we quickly got to know each other. In a mere conversation I managed to find out that she lived with only her mother, and her father hadn't been in her life for 9 years.

Who knew a 15 minute conversation would start such an amazing friendship? As she and I began talking and hanging out more, I started to get romantic feelings for her. No matter how many times Hanna and I would talk or how personal our conversations got I could never find the words to tell her who I really am or anything about my past.

The only people outside my family that knew about my sexuality were Spencer and Aria. They began noticing how close Hanna and I got, I started to get the feeling from them that they felt as if I was leaving them out of my life.

It was Friday afternoon; I met up with Spencer and Aria for lunch.

"Hey Emily", they said in unison. They looked at me as if they haven't seen me in years.

"Hey", I reply, "So I've been meaning to talk to you guys, I'm sorry I've been shutting you two out lately. I-"

"It's okay Em, we understand why you've been with Hanna more", Aria said cutting me off. Spencer nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, we get it, we understand. Obviously you have feelings for Hanna", Spencer stated knowingly. My cheeks flushed.

"How do you guys know that...?" I asked in confusion.

Aria then spoke up. "Please Emily we're your best friends! We can read you like an open book."

After that I eventually introduced Hanna to Spencer and Aria. To no surprise, they clicked! Hanna was naturally outgoing, lovable and got along with everybody. Although she was new to the school she somehow became the 'it girl'. She was at the top and everyone knew her, but she belonged to our group. We all understood each other.

* * *

It was the night of Halloween, all of us gathered up at Spencer's house to run a marathon of horror movies. Aria and Spencer sat on one couch while, Hanna and I sat across the living room on the other one. We were busy watching 'Insidious 2', I'm never the one to get scared, but Hanna was and decided to hold onto my arm during horrific scenes. She grabbed on to my wrist tightly, causing me to jolt back in pain. The friction from her arm against the sleeve of my sweater caused the cuts to open. I lifted my sleeve up hoping the darkness of the room wouldn't make anything visible to the other girls. Despite how much I tried to hide my now open cuts of course, Hanna noticed. Like an arrow from a bow Hanna quickly grabbed my hand pulling me into the kitchen.

"Emily! What the hell is that?" Hanna asked startled.

"Can we not talk about it? Just drop it, okay?", I stated as tears were beginning to form in my eyes, I looked down. Hanna lifted my head up in attempt to get me to say something else.

"It's not worth talking about Hanna."

"If my best friend is harming herself this much, it's worth talking about. I care about you, a lot. Emily, why are you doing this?"

"Physical pain covers emotional pain. Simple.", I said, tears now rolling down my cheeks.

Hanna used her thumb to gently wipe them away.

"What emotional pain? C'mon talk to me, I'm here to help not judge." At those words I suddenly felt more comfortable with Hanna knowing the real me. I began speaking, still afraid that this will be the reason she would walk out of my life.

* * *

_**A/N Happy Halloween ! Hope you guys liked it, review for an update and let me know what you want to have happen next! ~ShayMitchCanada**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you guys SO much for the reviews and follows, I'm happy people like this story! Keep following and reviewing ~ShayMitchCanada**_

* * *

**Emily's POV**

At this point I knew I had to come clean and tell Hanna about everything, she'd been so open with me about everything yet I hid this from her. I began to speak.

"Hanna, before I explain why I do this I need you to know something that only my family, Spencer, and Aria know.."

"I said it already and I'm going to say it again. You can tell me anything I'm here to help not judge. Okay?" Hanna stated with all sincerity.

"I'm uh.. I'm gay.. I'm so sorry I never told you Hanna it's just -"

"Em.. Relax, I know coming out isn't an easy thing no matter how close you are with someone, you need to know I support you 100% but now I just need to know why you do this." She said gently lifting my wrists up.

Before I could even say anything to Hanna I noticed Aria and Spencer behind Hanna. Both their eyes widened, I knew exactly what they were looking at.

"Emily.." Spencer said in a soft tone.

"What is this?" Aria asked directing her eyes towards my arm.

I knew I couldn't hide this anymore, it's there right in front of them. I directed them towards the living room and we all sat down. Hanna took a seat beside me. They all had the same look in their eyes.. A look of pity, which is the last thing I wanted.

"Emily talk to us.. What went on that you felt that this was your way to deal with it?" Hanna said breaking the silence.

Aria and Spencer both look angered that I didn't tell them, yet worried.

"It was during the summer... After I came out to my parents they hated me so much for it.. Non stop arguments-"

"Wait wait wait.." Aria said cutting me off. "You told us that your parents were okay with it.. Why would you lie?"

"I didn't want you guys to worry about it, everything just felt better though.. Every time I cut it felt like a relief to me. I was at the point where I felt like I had no purpose anymore, my mom told me she hated me, my dad agreed with her.. I had no where to go. I had to stay in that house. "

"You know you could have always stayed with Aria or myself at the time right? Obviously not Hanna because you didn't know her at the time but you know what I mean. We are here for you. You can stay with any one of us." Spencer said

"Move in with me!" Hanna jumped up saying. "My mom loves you Em!"

"I don't know Hanna, I don't want to impose on you guys.."

"It's not imposing if I'm offering."

Spencer and Aria nodded their heads in agreement realizing Hanna had a very valid point.

"Emily you need to get out of your house, CLEARLY it's not good for you if you're doing things like that because of your parents. I think moving in with Hanna would be your smartest decision." Aria said, giving Emily a look as if she should put the moves on Hanna when they live together.

"I guess I'll start packing my things."

"Yaaay!" Hanna screamed, "One thing Em.."

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Can you promise not just me but all of us that you'll at least try to stop doing this?"

"I'll try..."

With that the night ended on a good note.

* * *

**THE NEXT WEEK**

I was back at my house busy packing my things, trying to move as fast as possible before my 'parents' come home. I had only one more suit case left to fill, I looked at the clock realizing I didn't have that much time before they'd get home. I quickly threw everything into the suit case, took one last look at my now empty room and just headed over to Hanna's. Never looking back.

I later arrived at the Marins' house, Hanna's mom was off on a business trip that night so Hanna and I had the house to ourselves, we spent most of the night packing all my things away, it all got finished by 2am.

I had never been the girl to be flirtatious with anyone, but Hanna on the other hand was always touchy feely, to me there was no reason to be cuddling or holding hands with someone, all that changed in just one night as Hanna and I were laying in the same bed she turned to me.

"Emily.."

"Yes Han?"

"You know I still worry about you right? After everything you told us, I can't imagine you ever hurting yourself, I don't want to imagine you hurting yourself.. Ever"

"Hanna, you don't have to worry anymore." I said reassuring her.

"I know I don't have to but I do, I care about you a lot Em," she said intertwining our fingers not realizing it had an effect on me. We later drifted off to sleep still hand in hand.

**Hanna's POV**

It was a Sunday morning, I woke up beside Emily. She looked so calm and relaxed, I couldn't bring myself to wake her up after everything that happened last week and before she deserved some peace. I went across the hall to brush my teeth and shower, later on I went downstairs to prepare breakfast for Emily and I. Then I heard the door open.

"Good morning sweetie," my mom says walking in. "Is Emily here yet?"

"Morning mom, and yeah she's asleep right now actually, I just thought I would make us both some breakfast." I said.

"Oh, well that's very sweet of you. I'll be upstairs if you need anything."

As my mom walked upstairs I continued making breakfast. Around 10:30 Emily walked downstairs.

"Morning Han," Emily said.

"Morning Em," I replied. "Breakfast?"

"Aww you got up to make us breakfast? Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you up. Now c'mon let's eat! We're meeting up with Spencer and Aria for some Sunday shopping!"

"So you mean, Spencer and I sitting there while you and Aria try on a billion outfits?"

"Yeah basically," I said, causing us both to burst out into laughter.

Later at the mall Emily and I met up with Spencer and Aria. The two of us were walking hand in hand, I knew Emily wasn't the type of person that would display affection but after last night it quickly became our thing. The four of us walked into _Forever 21_, Aria and I quickly found a bunch of outfits to try on.

**Emily's POV**

We all walked into Forever 21, I've never seen Hanna move as fast as I did today, her and Aria quickly found a pile of clothing, the two of them rushed into the change room while Spencer and I sat outside on the chairs.

"So Emily.. What was that with Hanna when you guys walked in? Did you finally tell her how you feel?" Spencer whispered.

"She was just telling me how she cared and all that, and we just held hands.. It's just our thing now."

"Okay, that's one question answered.."

"No Spencer, I didn't tell her how I feel. Need I remind you Hanna's straight."

"Well you never know she might surprise you, unless she gets a boyfriend that is..."

After hearing those words the colour from my washed away. Thinking of Hanna with anyone else made my stomach turn, and I immediately filled with jealously. I was cut from my thought when Aria and Hanna walked out.

"Soooo... How do we look?" Hanna asked clearly happy with the outfits her and Aria had on.

I was speechless, I just looked up and down at Hanna, Spencer and Aria gave each other a look knowing what just happened, thankfully Hanna hadn't noticed.

"You both look great!" I finally said. Spencer nodded in agreement. After quite some time we all eventually left and went out for dinner, we made sure not to stay out too late knowing we had school the next day.

**Hanna's POV**

After a long day we all went our separate ways, of course Emily and I didn't go our separate ways considering we live together. It was just before bed when I noticed Emily was looking worried about something, I'm not sure what but I could tell she had something on her mind.

"Em," I said, "are you okay?"

"Yeah Hanna, I'm fine."

"No you're not, look at me." I stated firmly. As she looked up I could tell she was holding on to something big.

"I'm fine, really." She said giving me a weak smile. Instinctively I held on to her hand.

"Emily, did you... You know..."

"No.. I told you I'm done with that."

"Then what is it, you know you can tell me," I told her giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"It's not that simple." She said.

"I can handle complicated you know...?"

"Hanna I think that I-"

As Emily was about start she was cut off by her cell phone ringing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Emily's POV**

As I was about to start telling Hanna my phone rang. Spencer thank god, I thought. I walked into the hallway and answered my phone.

"Spencer! Thank the lord you called, I was about to tell Hanna.

"Oops! I'll let you get back to that then." Spencer said.

"NO!"

"Woah Em, why?"

"Because Spencer, I'm not ready to tell her yet.. I wanna at least know if she has feelings for me."

"And what better time to find out than now?!"

"No. Spencer, I'm not saying anything."

"Fine, suit yourself."

"I'll see you tomorrow then, bye," I said and hung up the phone.

I walked back into the bedroom, Hanna busied herself on her phone.

"So what did Spence say?" Hanna asked.

"Nothing really we just talked about homework," I lied. "Can we just go to sleep?"

"Whatever." Hanna said clearly pissed off.

"I'm sorry Hanna," I reached out for her hand surprisingly she didn't pull away, she softened into the touch.

"It's okay Em, I can't pressure you into telling me something you don't want to tell me."

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, I'm not ready to tell you." After I said that she didn't reply, the two of us just drifted off into sleep

* * *

**Hanna's POV**

The next day at school I had been spending an excessive amount of time with Caleb, there was something about him that intrigued me. He just seemed so mysterious and I just wanted to know more about him. He and I ended up going out for lunch.

"So where do you want to go." He asked.

"Anywhere," I said staring longingly into his deep brown eyes.

"How's Rosewood Grille for you?"

"Sounds perfect."

The two of us ordered, while we were waiting for our food to come silence fell between us.

"So Hanna," Caleb said breaking the silence. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

My eyes lit up, my heart fluttered. I sat there hoping the question would be exactly what I was thinking.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked boldly.

I tried to contain the excitement filling up inside me, after I calmed down I finally answered. "Yes Caleb."

He leaned over and sealed it with a kiss. We spent the rest of our lunch laughing and giggling, occasionally giving each other loving looks.

Caleb and I walked back into school hand in hand, I saw Spencer, Emily and Aria in the halls. I kissed Caleb goodbye, I had no idea the three girls noticed, after saying goodbye to Caleb I walked over to them.

"Hey guys." I said smiling at them.

"Hey Han," they said in unison.

"So you and Caleb are a thing now?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah, he and I went out at lunch, then he asked me so now we're a thing" I said.

* * *

**Emily's POV**

I felt like my heart shattered as soon as I saw Hanna walk in holding hands with Caleb, Spencer and Aria gave me a sympathetic look knowing my heart was broken. I tried to look strong when she walked over, Spencer was the one that ended up asking about Caleb and her. It was obvious that they were a thing.

"I have to go," I said trying as hard as I could to get away.

"Where you going Em?" Hanna asked.

"Uh, I have swim practice right now, they're calling us all out early." I lied walking away, I just wanted to go home and get out of school and just be by myself. I knew that eventually would have to face Hanna. As I was walking away I heard Spencer call after me.

"Em! Wait please!" Spencer yelled she grabbed on to my arm turning me around, her eyes softened seeing the pain in my eyes she pulled me into an embrace. "It's going to be okay, I know you love Hanna, I'm sorry she doesn't feel the same way but please don't go home and do what I think you're going to do."

"My heart.. Hurts so much," I said crying into Spencer's shoulder. "I just need to go home. Please let me go."

"I just don't want you to let this get to you and be another reason you'd harm yourself. I'll check on you later okay?" She said letting me go.

**Spencer's POV**

The pain in Emily's eyes is something I wish I could have unseen but for the rest of the day it's all I was thinking of, she was in so much pain and I hated seeing that. If only Hanna knew how she felt... When she said she had to go to swim practice I knew right then and there it was a lie. I was cut from my train of thought when Aria came up to me.

"Hey, so have you talked to Emily?" She asked.

"Yeah.. She walks fast. But I did catch up to her, I can honestly say I've never seen Emily so hurt than I did today and I have a fear of what she's going to do..."

"Wait, you don't think this would trigger her, do you?"

"Of course this is a trigger for her! She saw the girl she was in love with hold hands and kiss someone that wasn't her..."

"CALL HER NOW!" Aria exclaimed.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Emily's number.. "No answer..."

"Okay, Hanna's going out with Caleb later so she won't be home after school, we're going there now."

Aria and I pulled up to Hanna and Emily's house, the door was locked but we knew exactly where they hid the spare key. We opened the door.

"Emily!" Aria and I called out, no answer.

We walked upstairs noticing the bathroom door was close, the two of us stepped closer and knocked on the door, yet again no answer, we then opened the door.

"Oh my god.." Aria yelled out. The two of us were horrified at the scene.

* * *

_**Ouuu what do you think happened to Emily? Or what do you want to have happen? Let me know in the reviews.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N Woohoo you guys met the review goal! Thank you for all the reviews! I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I hope you enjoy it!_**

**_Review goal for the next chapter is 20-25 anywhere between that I won't be overly specific xD Anyways enough of my rambling... Onto the story, again ENJOY! ~ShayMitchCanada_**

* * *

**Aria's POV**

We walked in seeing Emily laying on the floor passed out, our eyes are automatically directed to her wrists they were covered in blood. Before she loses anymore Spencer and I bandage her wrist and put her to lie on the bed.

"What do we do?! Should we take her to the hospital?!" I ask.

"We can't, she's still a minor and need I remind you she's under her parents name. They're the last people she'd want to see," Spencer stated.

The two of us go downstairs leaving Emily to get some rest, hoping nothing bad happens.

"Emily really does love Hanna.. Look how much it hurt her.. Physically and emotionally, do you think we should tell Hanna?" I ask.

"Can we just not talk about Hanna, she's the last person I want on my mind right now." Spencer said.

"Hey.. Lighten up on her, how is she supposed to know Emily has feelings for her? If she did I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be kissing Caleb right in front of her, lets just be happy that for tonight Emily won't have to see Hanna."

"Well.. You have a point there, and she will have to see her they kind of sleep in the same room." They both chuckled lightly trying to keep the mood up, their eyes quickly darted towards the door, they hoped it was Ms. Marin but instead it was Hanna. Both their eyes widened, shocked that Hanna had been home and scared about what she'd see and how many questions she would ask if she saw Emily.

"Don't worry... Play it cool," Spencer whispered.

I simply nodded and directed my attention to Hanna.

**Hanna's POV**

"Oh! Hey guys," I said walking in noticing Aria and Spencer in the kitchen. "I didn't know you guys were going to be coming over today."

"Hey Han, I thought you were going to be hanging out with Caleb tonight" Spencer said.

"Yeah we are, just later."

"Oh," Spencer and Aria said in unison. Immediately I could read their facial expressions, there was something that was bothering them.

"Uhm guys? You okay?" I asked.

"Mhmm, yeah fine," Aria said smiling weakly.

"No you're not you both have worry written all over your face. Spill it, what happened?"

"Nothing Hanna, really." Spencer stated firmly.

"Hmm okay? Where's Emily then?" After that question they couldn't even look me in the eye. "Spencer? Aria? Is she okay?"

Neither of them gave me a direct answer they just stayed quiet. I began to worry what had happened to Emily because I didn't see her or hear from her at all since she left school.

"Guys you're starting to scare me.. Where's Emily? Is she upstairs?"

"Yeah.." Aria said softly.

"Hanna wait!" Spencer yelled as she saw me turn around heading up the stairs.

I went into our room, swinging the door open.

"Oh my god.." tears began to fall from my eyes seeing Emily like this, I noticed the bandage that had been wrapped around her wrist. I took her hand in mine, trying to piece together or come up with some conclusion as to why Emily would do this again.

"Hanna.." I hear a voice call my name I looked towards the bedroom door where I saw Spencer and Aria giving me a sympathetic look.

I take a deep breath "Is Emily going to be okay?"

"She's going to be fine. Though the blood loss was significant, thankfully we found her just in time and patched her up..."

"I don't get it," I whisper.

"Don't get what Hanna?" Aria asks.

"Why Emily?! What the hell has she done to deserve this!? Any of this!?" I yell out.

**Emily's POV**

I had awoken hearing Hanna shout, I kept my eyes closed. I felt an excruciating amount of pain pulse from my wrist but also Hanna's warm soft hand. To be honest I was slightly disappointed my attempt didn't work, I just didn't want to be here anymore I couldn't live knowing and seeing the one I love with someone else. It hurts too much.

Cut from my train of thought I heard Spencer speak. "Hanna.. We can't exactly tell you why Emily did this, it's personal to her."

"Who's involved? At least tell me that."

"Uhm.. You."

"Wait.. What do I have to do with this.. Please don't tell me I'm the reason Emily did this to herself."

"Hanna.." Aria cleared her throat, "Emily is-"

"In love with you," I said cutting Aria off.

Hanna's eyes widened, she cleared her throat, opening her mouth and began to speak.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hanna's POV**

My heart began beating faster at Emily's words, I felt this way when Caleb asked me out but this time it just feels different. The girl I previously loved but kept a secret, feels this way now, if only I had known earlier..

I cleared my throat and began to speak, "Aria, Spencer.. Could you guys give us a minute?"

"We're actually just gonna head out now, are you gonna be alright Em?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah I should be fine."

We sat in silence until we heard the door close, making sure Spencer and Aria were gone.

"You know what Hanna forget what I said.."

"No, how can I forget that because of me you almost killed yourself?! Just tell me one thing.."

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because you're straight," Emily stated. "I'm sorry Hanna but I can't go on hiding that I'm in love with you..."

"I'm with Caleb though.."

"I know.."

"Em.. How long have you.. Loved me?"

She looked away clearly embarrassed at my question, "for a while now.. Can I ask you something now?"

"Yeah of course."

"Me loving you won't change anything between us right?"

"No! Em, of course not. I would never let anything come between us. Anyways! I'm gonna go shower now and after you and I are having a girls night!"

"Aren't you meeting up with Caleb?"

"Him and I can hang another day." I said turning away and walking into the bathroom. My mind was racing at that point. I can't get Emily's words out my mind.. _I'm straight though what am I thinking?! On top of this I have a boyfriend who I think I love..._

It was about 7:00pm by time I finished showering, I walked into the room and saw Emily on her phone.

"Who you texting?" I ask.

"Just Spencer, she was thinking that we all could go clubbing on Friday, do you still have your fake ID?"

"Of course I do!"

**Emily's POV**

I felt a lot better having Hanna know my true feelings for her, although they weren't mutual, things today started from the bottom but somehow slowly went up. Although it's going to kill me on the inside knowing she'll never love me all I can think about do is moving on. I can't thank Spencer enough for suggesting we go clubbing on Friday. She was acting kind of suspicious after, which concerned me but I can't complain, I just need to be happy she didn't drop our friendship because of this.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Hanna asks me while she was heating up popcorn.

"Anything you're in the mood for," I said.

"Mmm how's horror?"

"Hanna, you can't handle horror movies.."

"Well that's why I have you here, I'll hide behind you at the scary parts."

Just as Hanna said she did exactly that, throughout the movie she held on to my hand as we usually do, but this time she was a lot closer to me than we've ever been.

* * *

Friday rolled around faster than I expected, the four of us all got dressed at Spencer's house. I made sure to wear something extra impressive, if I'm trying to move on I need someone to move on with right? I wore a short sequenced dress, that had a low cut at the neck showing off a decent amount of cleavage. The girls were downstairs waiting on me, as soon as I stepped downstairs their jaws dropped.

"Wow." They all said in unison making me blush.

"Ready to go?" I ask.

"Yeah we're just waiting for... Caleb," Spencer said awkwardly.

"Oh, I didn't know he was coming," I tried my best to not sound disappointed. Which wasn't so convincing to Spencer or Aria, thankfully Hanna busied herself on her phone and hadn't noticed a thing.

"Caleb's here!" Hanna shouted.

"Wait how come he's driving?" I ask.

"Well, he's not going to be drinking tonight.. We all know very well we will be," Spencer smirked.

"Ahh gotchya."

Caleb knocked on the door wave us to come outside. The drive to the night club wasn't too long, and thankfully our _"ID's"_ worked. Immediately entering the club we broke up but agreed to meet back at the front by midnight, Spencer and Aria had gone straight to the bar. Hanna and Caleb found some corner to make out in, and I was on a mission to find a girl I could have a quick fling with. My feet quickly found their way to the dance floor, before I knew it there was a girl already grinding on me. When the song ended we awkwardly introduced ourselves.

"Emily Fields," I stated confidently.

"Maya St. Germain, wanna go grab some drinks?"

"Yeah sure," I said smiling. _Oh my god she's beautiful,_ I thought.

We walked over to the bar grabbing the strongest shots we could get, after 4 Maya and I were tipsy, before I knew it I was taking a body shots off her.

**Hanna's POV**

As soon as we got into the club Caleb pulled me into a corner for heated make out session. After some time I need a breath, I pulled away and peered over his shoulder only to find Emily taking body shots off of some girl.

_What the fuck is she doing?_ I thought heating up with jealously. I pulled Caleb on to the dance floor.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"To dance," I said. I turned around so my back was on Caleb's front as he began grinding on me. I watched as Emily placed the salt on the girls neck, licking it off and lingering for a second too long, she kissed down her body, stopping at her belly button to take a shot where the drink was poured. She looked back and I knew our eyes met for a second. I filled with even more jealousy seeing Emily pull the shorter brunette on to the dance floor. I turned away meeting Caleb's gaze and tugged on his shirt, moving him forward to connect his lips with my own. After that I turned back around only to find Emily making out with her.

_Has Emily moved on already..? Just last week she told me she was in love with me how could this happen already,_ I thought to myself as I let my insecurities get the best of me. After a few hours Emily finally came up to me.

"Heeey Hanna," she said as she began falling on top of me, I quickly stabilized her.

"You're so drunk."

"Hm didn't notice," she said turning back around wobbling off to another girl.

"Looks like Emily's quite the player tonight," Spencer said causing me to jump. "Hey are you alright? You seem a little jumpy."

"Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine," I said turning around to look back at Emily.

"No you're not, Hanna I see right through you, pain is written all over your face. Does this have anything to do with Caleb?"

"No, it's nothing. I'm just really tired," I lied.

Seeing Emily with two girls in one night killed me, enough was enough. I darted towards her on the dance floor tugging her away. "Time to go." I said sternly.

"But Haaan I'm having so much fun," she said drunkenly.

"Well sorry but Em we gotta go." I just left it at that, I pulled her away not giving her any time to even reply to me.

The drive home was quiet, Emily was the only one out of us that had gotten drunk. We were all too tired to even talk. Caleb dropped Spencer and Aria off first. Then Emily and I.

"Guess we gotta say goodbye now," he said pulling me into a kiss, "goodnight."

"Ugh guys get a room," Emily interrupted causing Caleb and I to laugh softly.

"I get to go take care of this now," I said tilting my head in Emily's direction.

I held on to Emily's hand walking her in and up the stairs, I went over to the dresser and grabbed a few things for her to change into.

"Here, put these on," I said tossing the clothes in her direction hoping she was sober enough to at least change.

"Could you do it for me..." She asks in a tired tone.

"Seriously Emily?" I say in an annoyed tone.

"Pleeeeaassseeee."

"Fine, whatever. Lift up your arms," I said slowly peeling the dress off her body. I did a quick check out of her body which I think she noticed. Before anything happened I put her pajamas on. "There, now go to sleep."

The two of us laid down on the bed I turned away from her still a tad bit pissed off about what happened in the club.

"Hanna?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you so angry right now?"

"I'm not I'm just tired. Go to sleep Emily, you're gonna wake up with a killer headache tomorrow."

"If you're not angry could you at least face me?"

I gave in right away to her request, no matter what I couldn't stay angry at Emily, she has no idea it was her actions that made me angry, and I can't let her know I want her. She's clearly moved on.

* * *

**_Huge shout out and thanks to "hanilyalwayson" for giving me the idea of a jealous Hanna, see guys? Your reviews and ideas help a ton! Let me know what you want to happen next! ;) _**

**_Review Goal for a new chapter = 30, you guys can do that right?! ~ShayMitchCanada_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Emily's POV**

The next week Maya and I began hanging out a bit more often, I had hardly seen Hanna, even at home, we only saw each other twice a day, in the morning and just before bed. Being with Maya, I had to admit made me take my mind somewhat off of Hanna, although every now and then I wished it was her who was there and not Maya.

"Hello Emily," Maya said.

"Hello Maya," I said smiling at her.

"So what's the plan for after school?"

"I'm actually up for anything, I just have to stop at home really quickly before we go out."

**Hanna's POV**

It had been a week since the club, Emily was still number one in my mind, I thought being with Caleb would help me get over her but boy I was wrong.. Ever since that night I had a bit more distant with Caleb I couldn't bare being around him, it makes me feel guilty to know that I'm just using him.

"What the hell is this Hanna?!" Caleb asks angrily walking towards me in the school hall. I read the text.

_"Looks like you're just Hanna's toy while she really goes for what she wants -A"_

The text was followed up with a video of Emily and I last week when I was helping her get out of her dress.

"Caleb this isn't what it looks like," I try to explain.

"Really? Cause to me it looks like you're undressing her!"

"Please, Emily was drunk off her ass. I was helping her change, why can't you understand that?"

"Oh and I'm just supposed to assume that look you gave her when she was half naked was just an accident?!"

"No, I was just.."

"Just what Hanna?"

"I can't explain right now.."

"Okay well can you explain why at the club you looked at her more than me?!"

I stay silent, looking in any direction that's not towards Caleb.

"Silence.. I've been getting that a lot from you lately. Talk to me when you find your voice.."

"Are you breaking up with me?" I ask tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry Hanna," those were the last words Caleb said before walking away.

I went home that day in tears, _nobody wants me_, I thought. Emily had moved on and Caleb just dumped me. I began letting all my past insecurities get to me, I began to think my body wasn't good enough but I could never go back to being bulimic.. I'm stronger than that I kept telling myself. Emily came home a few hours later seeing me under the covers in tears.

"Hanna..."

I stayed quiet, pretending I was asleep. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone.

"Hanna, c'mon I know you're awake, I can hear you crying, what's wrong?" I felt her hand on me, sending shocks throughout my whole body.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"Obviously not nothing if you're crying, get up, talk to me," she said softly.

I got up turning to Emily, her eyes were filled with concern. _God she's so beautiful_, I thought as soon as I laid my eyes on her.

**Emily's POV**

"C-Caleb and I broke up.." She said, sobbing.

"Oh my god! Why?"

"Uh.. Do you remember last when I was helping you change...?"

"When was this?"

"The day we went to the club, you were drunk, and asked me to help you get changed."

"Oh, okay. Continue." I said.

"Well, -A took a video of it, sent it to Caleb and he thought I was undressing you," she said shyly looking away.

"Did you try explaining to him what really happened?"

"Of course I did but he didn't believe me.. For other reasons.."

"What other reasons Hanna, you know you can tell me."

"He.. He just doesn't love me.. No one loves me," she said between sobs.

"Hanna," I said reaching for her hand intertwining our fingers. "I love you."

"Yeah but not like that anymore, Em I saw you at the club. You've obviously moved on. Plus you've been hanging out with that girl.. You were taking body shots off of her."

"You mean Maya?"

"Yeah, her. You two have been together a lot lately. I can see that y-"

I leaned in capturing her lips effectively cutting her off. I couldn't take it anymore, her lips on my own felt like a need.

"Haven't moved on…" she whispered after I pulled away.

"Hanna I'm so sorry, you just broke up with Caleb and I go do this."

"It's okay," she says, softly leaning in again for a heated kiss. At that moment I felt on top of the world, Hanna Marin's lips were on mine.

**Hanna's POV**

Kissing Emily was perfect, I felt like fireworks had gone off in my heart. At first I was beyond shocked that she kissed me first, I worked up the courage to kiss her back and ask her the one question I_ needed_ an answer to.

"Emily… Will… You be my… _Girlfriend_?" I saw in-between kisses.

We both pulled apart looking deeply into each other's eyes.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted that question to come up?"

"So, what's your answer?"

"Of course I will be, I've had feelings for you since the first day I laid eyes on you." Emily said truthfully.

"Can I be honest here Em?"

"Yeah,"

"I actually had feelings for you since we first met, but I convinced myself that it was just a phase, then I got with Caleb and I realized, it's you and only you that holds a place in my heart. I'm sorry about everything."

"Hanna, you have nothing to be sorry for-"

"No Em I do. As soon as I had feelings for you I should have told you, we could have avoided you cutting again if I had done that," I said looking down.

"Hey," she said tilting my head back up, "that wasn't your fault, don't even for a second think it was, it's my issue that I've dealt with. How can I ever go back to that knowing I have the best girlfriend in the world. Hanna you make me happy."

"You make me happy too Em, you save me from my biggest fear…."

"And what would that fear be?"

"Not having anyone to love me… I had my dad but he left, it's been 9 years and it still kills me everyday, I had Caleb and he left too.. Don't be like the rest.. Don't leave me, can you promise that?" I said with tears in my eyes.

"Promise," she said attaching our lips for a kiss laced with promise and lust. "I love you so much Hanna, _nothing_ can take you away from me."

"I love you too," I said. Those were the last words that was said for the night before we went to sleep. Emily's arms wrapped around my waist holding me close as we slept, from then on I knew I would never fall asleep without being in her arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Emily's POV_**

_"Nothing will ever take you away from me_" I remember saying just yesterday to the love of my life.

* * *

It was the morning after Hanna and I had confessed our love to one another. It was around lunch when I hear my phone go off with a text from Hanna's mom.

**A-** I just got the call about Hanna.. She was involved in an accident. I'm at the hospital with her right now. Tell Aria and Spencer.

My heart felt like it had just dropped out of my chest, how could this have even happened?! I just got her and now there's a possibility I might lose her. No, I can't be thinking like that. Quickly I re-opened my phone texting both Spencer and Aria "_SOS, meet me at the hospital!_"

After putting my phone away I ran out the school, quickly starting my car and heading off to the hospital. I arrived in emergency, shaking, hoping Hanna would be okay.

"How is she?" I say panicking.

"She's going to fine, she has a broken leg, thankfully no severe trauma to the head." Ashley said to me.

"Oh my god, good. I thought I was going to lose her.." Immediately I looked away realizing what I had just said. Hanna hadn't even told her mom that her and I are together, let alone tell her that she's gay.

"Lose her? Emily what do you mean by that?"

"Well.. Hanna and I are kind of.. A thing.."

"Ohh well that's very nice to know," she said smiling, not looking surprised in any way.

"You don't even look shocked. Why is that?"

"Let's just say Hanna doesn't hide her feelings very well, a mother knows." I just looked away embarrassed that her mother already knew. After a few moments of silence the doctors came out.

"Is she allowed visitors now?" I ask, just wanting to see her beautiful face.

"Yes, you both may go."

"Emily you can go see her first," Ashley said smiling at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Thank you," I say smiling at Ashley. I walk down the hall filling with many mixed emotions, I push the door open slowly taking a deep breath. On the bed lies Hanna, she turns her head to look at me, I notice a smile come across her face.

"Why hello Emily," Hanna says laughing.

"How could you even laugh right now!? You were in an accident, your leg is broken, I get a text from your mom that you're here and you're laughing!"

"Shh, just come here," she says quietly reaching her arm out. She moves her body over, giving me a spot to sit down facing, grabbing onto my shirt pulling me closer towards her, "you worry too much," she says whispering before placing a soft kiss on my lips. Just as I was about to deepen it, the door swings open.

"Did we just interrupt something?" Spencer says smirking at me, knowing that look her and I are going to have to talk later.

"Yes." Hanna replies bluntly.

"Well better us than some random doctor," Aria says making us all laugh.

"You know for a very shocking situation we have been laughing a lot," I state.

"That's the best way to stay positive. Anyways, Han.. How on earth did this all happen?" Spencer asks getting on the topic that I haven't even asked about.

"All I can really remember is that I was walking and a car hit me.. Next thing I know I'm here…" Hanna explains. I start to boil with anger, all I wanted to do was hunt down whoever did this to her.

For the rest of the night the 4 of us talked, made jokes and just kept the mood up. Half way through this Hanna's mom had came in.

"Hello girls," she said to us. "Hanna I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving for another trip, is there anything you need before I go?"

"No mom, I should be fine. Don't you have to be here to sign my release papers though?"

"They are already signed, I'll see you next week," Hanna smiled faintly as her mom kissed her forehead saying goodbye.

"Uh Han, I think Aria and I are gonna head out now, we'll be back tomorrow. Text us if you need anything okay?"

"Will do," she replied. After what seemed like forever Hanna and I were alone in the room again, thankfully Hanna's mom had spoken to one of the nurses allowing me to stay with Hanna for the night so she wouldn't be alone here and so I wouldn't be alone at home worrying.

"I still can't believe this happened to you," I said holding on to Hanna tighter. She didn't say anything, she just looked at me, resting her head on to my shoulder. For the remainder of the night we stayed in that position falling asleep holding onto each other.

The two of us woke up the next morning realizing it was 11am, "woah we definitely slept in.. Where are Spencer and Aria?" she asks.

"They should be here in a couple of minuets, you're not being released until 11:30 so we still have half an hour," I say. Around 11:20am I see Spencer and Aria walk in.

"All ready to go?" Aria asks.

"Yeah, one sec." Hanna says pulling the sheets off of her leg.

"Wait. Hanna who wrote that?" Spencer asked, clearly alarmed. We all quickly directed our eyes to her cast, it read, "_So I hear nothing can take you away from Emily? So close. xoxo -A"_

"Oh my god," we all say in unison.

* * *

**Hanna's POV**

Anyone would have thought a week later the pain would ease up right? Wrong. My body ached, I thought the amount of pain killers I had would ease the throbbing in my leg but it didn't. The only thing that made this situation bearable was seeing and kissing Emily, every time our lips touched I felt like I could take on the world as long as she was by my side. She took the week off of school just to take care of me, of course Spencer and Aria were bringing in all our assignments so it wasn't exactly a 'vacation'.

"Emily!" I called from upstairs.

"Yes Hanna," I hear her reply back.

"Can you come here… Please?"

"Just give me a minute, I'm in the middle of something!" Seconds later she shows up in our room with lunch and some pain killers.

"You're like my nurse," I tell her fully checking her out. With my mom gone, and just her and I what better time to make love to her than now?

"Hanna. Did you forget that your leg is broken. I see that look in your eyes, we're not going there.. Right now at least." She says setting the food and pills on my nightstand.

"But, I want you." I tell her pulling her down beside me giving her a peck on the lips before moving to her neck. She let out a moan, as I let my hand snake under her shirt softly massaging her breast.

"Hanna.. As much as I want to do this we've only been together for a week. I really want our first time to be special. Please don't be mad." She tells me, immediately I understand and respect her for that, I know that her and I are both ready but I too want our first time to be special when I think about it. I remove my hand from her shirt and meet her gaze.

"I could never be mad at you for something like this. Believe me. When we do end up having sex it will be special," I reply to her. "And you have no idea how hard I'm gonna rock your world." I whisper seductively in her ear.

"Can't wait," she says to me attaching our lips. I pull away, moving my hands up, cupping her face. "I love you so much Emily."

"I love you too Hanna."


	8. Chapter 8

**Woah it's been a while since I updated. So sorry! I've been so busy with school & work that I haven't had time to write :( Also I've been running a bit low on ideas.. Kinda... I want to know what YOU guys want to see happen. Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review ~ShayMitchCanada**

* * *

_**Emily's POV**_

"So Emily," Spencer said giving me a look. "What was that at the hospital when Aria and I walked in?"

"Yeah Em, are you guys in looove?" Aria cooed.

"Mmm I guess you can say we're in love," I said while blushing.

"So when did it all happen?" Spencer asks.

"A week ago, the day before she got in the accident."

"If we didn't walk in and see you two, would you have even told us?"

"Yes! We were planning to the next day but the accident came up then I was at home with her, I was just thinking about her feeling better over who knows what else I have to worry about," I say trying to reason with them.

"Woah Em, it's okay!" Spencer says slowing me down. "Soo in this week have you guys.. you know?"

"No, we haven't. I know we're both ready and everything but I want our first time to be special, and I think she does too, she's kinda been hinting it but I've turned her down because she has a cast on her leg still..."

We hear Hanna walking down the stairs so I tell them to quiet down considering the fact we're talking about sex, which I know Hanna is way too eager for.

"Hey guys! What are you all talking about?" she asks, smiling sweetly at us.

"Nothing…" Aria replies to her. "So Han, when are you getting that cast off?"

"In a couple more days, thankfully the injury wasn't so severe that I needed to keep this on for a while… It messes with things I _want to do_," Hanna said giving me a smirk. I would give almost anything to have her underneath me right now. Wait, no… Taking things slow… I need to remember that.

"What things are there that you have to do?" Spencer asks her.

"Uhh… Shopping…" She said nervously, which obviously gave it away since Aria, Spencer and I were just talking about "_it_"

"Uh huh shopping…." Aria said using air quotes which made Hanna and I blush.

"Em, you told them!?" Hanna asks laughing hysterically."

"Kinda…"

"So Han, Aria and I having been meaning to talk to you about something," Spencer states in a serous tone.

"I think I'm gonna go make something…" I say as I excuse myself to go make drinks, knowing Spencer and Aria are about to give Hanna the talk warning her not to hurt me. Although I'm in the kitchen I can still here everything they're saying.

"What do you two need to talk to me about?" Hanna asks with concern filled in her voice.

"Just a warning… We love you just as much as we love Em. You know that, but you better not hurt her. In any way." Aria states firmly.

"She's been through way too much, and I really don't want to see her hurt. We all became friends really fast, don't make that a reason we stop being friends," Spencer stated also in a serious tone.

"Spencer, Aria.. I understand completely," I heard Hanna say in a mono-tone, "I would never want to do anything that would hurt Emily, physically, emotionally, or mentally. I know we all became friends pretty fast, and I'm thankful for that. Believe it or not I'm in love with Emily." Hearing Hanna say those words to our friends made my heart melt, although she and I had only been together for a week the love has always been there, before we became official. I was cut from my train of thought when I heard Hanna continue her 'speech'.

"I would do anything to make her happy even if that means I have to be at risk. You two have nothing to worry about, I care about her so much. More than you even know." Hanna said finishing. I peeked my head out from the corner seeing Spencer and Aria tearing up with joy, _they're such saps_, I think to myself before walking out into the living room. As I walk in I see Hanna immediately turn around

"How much of that did you hear Em?" Hanna asks.

"Uhh pretty much the whole thing.. I didn't even bother making drinks.. I was kind of too focused on your speech," I said looking lovingly at her.

"AWWWW!" Spencer and Aria cooed.

_**Hanna's POV**_

Having Emily hear me practically spill my guts out about her was kind of embarrassing because I never really wanted to show her my soft, which she obviously saw today. After a few couple related jokes, I hear my mom walk in.

"Hello girls," my mom said seeing us all in the living room. She looked so tired from her business trip. Personally I hated when she went out on trips, it feels like she's hardly in my life.

"Hi," the three of them say in unison.

"Hanna may I speak with you for a moment in the kitchen?" my mom asks with a slight smile to her face. _Oh no.. She knows something.._ I think starting to panic.

We walk into the kitchen and I take a seat on the bar stool beside the kitchen counter, "what do you have to talk to me about that can't wait until later mom?"

"How are things with you and Emily?" she asks, immediately I freeze up.

"How.. wait.. what..?" I manage to get out.

"How do I know?" my mom asks, knowing exactly what I am thinking right now.

"Yeah.. How?"

"Well, the day of your accident, Emily had muttered something about how she can't lose you, of course I got curious as to what she meant by that. Emily had made it clear the night before you two had gotten together… As a _couple._"

"Look mom I was going to tell you but I don't even know what you would think, I was dating Caleb before and Emily's parents disowned her for being gay and I really just didn't want that to happen. I've already lost one parent I don't need to lose another!" I said quickly.

"Woah Hanna, slow down; one, I'm not angry at you for this. Two, what do you mean they disowned her? Three, you're never going to lose me, I know I'm not around often and I'm sorry for that but you being gay doesn't change anything. Hey at least I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant," my mom joked.

"Thank you for understanding, and uhm Emily's parents sort of hated her for choosing to like girls over guys. Which led her to hate herself and do things…"

"Do things?" My mom asked worried. "What kind of things?"

"She used to harm herself…." I say looking down, saddened at the thought of Emily hurting herself.

"Oh my god. I hope she's okay now. You better take good care of her, okay?"

"Yeah mom I know, I just got a little lecture from Aria and Spencer about it too."

"Okay honey, I'm going to let you get back to your friends, we'll talk later."

I get up to leave, just before I walk into the other room I turn around, "Oh by the way mom, thank you."

"No problem sweetie," she says smiling at me.

As I return into the living room Aria and Spencer had told me they had to head out, so Aria could meet with Ezra and Spencer could meet with Toby.

"Han, we'll see you guys tomorrow at school. Take care, bye"

Right after we heard the door close Emily turned to me. Nodding her head motioning for us to go upstairs, she took my hand leading me up with her. When we got to the bed she sat down from and pulled me on top of her so our foreheads were touching and one leg wrapped around her waist the other stretched out because of the cast.

"You know…" she said breaking the silence. "I heard what you said to Aria and Spencer about me."

My cheeks flushed, my face turned a bright red, I was so embarrassed that Emily saw my soft side. "Every single word I said was absolutely true, I never want to hurt you in any way," I looked into Emily's eyes as I spoke, suddenly there was passion in her eyes. I leaned in slowly whispering 'I love you' before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. She pulled me closer, seeming to enjoy the feeling of our bodies pressed together.

"Emily…" I spoke up getting her attention. "I know neither of us want to rush, I know it's only been a week but I honestly don't know how long more I can hold out. I want to show you I love you, but since I respect you wanting to take it slow, let me take you out on a date, this Friday. So I'll have my cast off and I can actually hold on to your hands instead on crutches. I don't want to hide us anymore. I want to show the world the you, Emily Fields, are the love of my life."

After that she immediately agreed to going on a date with me. "I don't know how much longer I can hold out either, to be honest, and we have school tomorrow so why not show Rosewood High who the new couple is before 'A' gets to do it first" she said.

For the rest of the day everything was perfect, Emily acted like my nurse, as usual, we spent the remainder of Sunday cuddling and watching romantic comedies.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Okay so, here's chapter 9 for you! I'm slowly running out of ideas, so if there's anything you want to see happen in the story just leave it in the reviews and I'll be sure to write it in. Aside from that, enjoy ! ~ShayMitchCanada**_

* * *

**Emily's POV**

It was 6:45 in the morning, Hanna was still deep in slumber, she was so beautiful when she slept. I watched as her chest would rise and fall with every breath she took. Before waking her up I went to get dressed, knowing as soon as Hanna wakes up I'd never get the bathroom. I didn't want to but I knew I had to get her up or else she'd never get ready for school on time. I crawled back into bed reaching over to her.

"Han, wake up. You gotta get ready for school," I said shaking her lightly. She shifted, turning her back on me.

"No." She replied in a grumpy tone.

I reached over pulling her waist closer to mine, tilting her chin up and began placing soft kisses on her neck exactly where I know it gets her the most. She began to stir, I could feel there was a moan threatening to escape her throat. I sucked lightly on her neck, immediately she groaned.

"Em.." She said in a raspy tired voice, "why did you stop?"

"Because you need to wake up, c'mon get in the shower."

"Just one more," she whined.

"One more what?"

"Kiss."

I leaned back in slowly capturing her lips with my own, just as she was about to deepen it I pulled away. "I love you, but no tongue. Go brush. I'll kiss you after."

"Ugh fine." She said, getting up grabbing some clothes from the closet and made her way to the bathroom. While Hanna was getting dressed, I decided to head downstairs and whip up something for the two of us to eat. After what seemed like ages Hanna finally came downstairs.

"Wow." Was all I could say. Hanna looked absolutely gorgeous, her outfit was tight in all the right places and her hair flowed perfectly down her shoulders.

"So how about that kiss now?" She said walking over to me. I couldn't even take my eyes off of her, she always looks beautiful but at this moment she looked exceptional.

"Definitely," was all I could get out, she reached her hand out. Immediately I pulled her into my body. Hungrily capturing her lips with my own, I ran my tongue against the bottom of her lips, desperately wanting to taste her. In the heat of the moment I bit down on her lip, earning myself a groan.

"God, I love it when you're rough," Hanna said.

Spurred on by approval, I kept the roughness going, lifting her up onto the counter she wrapped her legs around me. The two of us pulled away for air, I was determined to find out how much roughness she could take without any article of clothing coming off. I started kissing down her neck, she began tugging on shirt bringing us impossibly closer. She buried her hand in my hair for me to keep my head where it was. I couldn't take it anymore, I bit down on her neck, then licked the wound softly. She lifted my head up bringing me back up to her lips.

"Dammit when we do things like this… I just want you so bad." She whispered, reconnecting our lips.

"GIRLS!" We heard call out, I backed away from Hanna, she had the same scared look on her face that I did. I scanned her quickly, realizing I left a fairly noticeable mark on Hanna's neck. Thankfully Hanna turned to the side so it was clear out of Ashley's view.

"I'm so sorry Ashley I just-"

"Emily, normally I wouldn't condone this behaviour. Hanna you know that. I think we need to set some ground rules." Hanna and I just gave each other a look, knowing a certain question is coming up. "Are you girls sexually active." An annoyed look washed over Hanna's face.

"No mom, we aren't. We realize it's something to wait for." Hanna stated.

"Okay, also I understand that you two share a bed. Whenever you plan to take the next step, do it when I'm not home." Ashley said, in a half joking, half serious tone.

"Mom… Really… Can we not have this talk…?"

"Uhm, Ashley I think what she means is thank you for understanding that Hanna and I love each other, and are willing to take it to the next step. Also for not freaking out about the fact."

"Thank you for the politeness Emily," she said smiling at me. "Anyways, don't you girls have school to get to?"

"Yeah in half an hour. School is like 5 minutes away," Hanna replied.

"Well, have a good day. I have to get to work now. Bye."

"Bye Ashley,"

"Bye mom."

I turned to Hanna with a questionable look on my face. "Why must you get so annoyed at your mother so quickly?"

"Who said I was annoyed?"

"Uh your face. You know I can read like an open book, plus the tone of your voice."

"It's a lot to explain and I would much rather get back to kissing you."

"We have time, and as much as I would love to kiss you. I want to know what's going on with you."

"It's a mixed feeling. I'm grateful she took you in and is accepting of our relationship but does she really have to ask about our _sex life_, it's not like she's at home enough to even know what we're doing. Whenever we're going to do it!"

"Is this about her asking about our sex life or about her being gone all the time?" She fell silent, "Hanna you know she loves you no matter what, and you still have her."

"It just feels like I slowly losing her to work now. I already lost my dad, he completely walked out. I know my mom wouldn't either but I can't help but shake the feeling that she will…" Her eyes saddened, I had no words, but I knew exactly what she meant by losing parents. The only difference is that she still cared about hers, while I couldn't bother to think about them. All I could do was pull Hanna into a hug, she began to sob into my shoulder.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay," I said, kissing her head. She softened into my embrace, easing up on the tears. Feeling safe.

**Hanna's POV**

I have to admit it was kind of hard telling Emily that, but I had to tell someone, get it off my mind. As soon as she hugged me I felt safe, I felt like I belonged somewhere, that place being with her, in her arms. "I guess it's time to go to school," I said sighing when I looked at the time.

"Don't be upset, can you smile for me?" Emily said when her hands moved to my hips.

"No.."

"Pleeeeeeease?" She asked, kissing me passionately on the lips. "How about now?" I couldn't even hold it back, I had the biggest grin on my face. She knew how to make me smile in the simplest ways.

* * *

We walked into school hand in hand, no longer keeping us a secret just like we had planned. Of course there were the awkward stares, because Emily and I never gave off any hints to anyone that we were gay. Of course walking past the jocks all they could say was _thats hot_. Except for Noel he always had a comment.

"Oh I totally called that! I knew you guys were screwing, that's hot," he said winking at Emily and I. "So Hanna, how's Emily in bed?"

"Noel! Can you go find someone else to creep on?" I heard Spencer call from behind us.

"Hey! Not my fault, when two of Rosewood's finest hook up. I have to intervene." He said while walking away. Emily and I turned around seeing both Spencer and Aria behind us.

"So I see you guys decided to come out," Spencer said.

"Yeah and we couldn't be happier, no one really seems to care that we're together actually…" I said.

"Probably because your like Rosewood's _it_ girl and whatever you say or do goes."

"Uhh Hanna," Aria said changing the topic, "Your neck."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, walking into the girls bathroom. I quickly scanned over my neck realizing there was a fairly noticeable mark. "Emily!" She just stood there smirking at me, while Aria and Spencer were laughing hysterically.

"How and when?" Spencer asked, still laughing.

"We just got a little carried away this morning," Emily replied.

"A little? Em, this is the most noticeable thing ever!" I said to her.

"So it seems like our little Emily likes it rough," Aria and Spencer joked with each other, "and you're supposed to be the shy one."

I couldn't even help it anymore, I burst out laughing that this happened. Although I don't really mind it rough. "Aria can I use your cover-up?"

"Haha sure," she replied. After I put some make-up on the mark the four of us walked out of the bathroom, I pulled Emily behind a little.

"You're so getting it later…" I whispered to her, immediately she started blushing.

Throughout the course of the day it was spent with Emily and I being extra flirtatious and many dirty texts. I can't even wait any longer just 2 more weeks and I get to make love to her, I have so many things planned for our one month anniversary. She's going to love it I can tell already.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews and follows. Sorry I took so long to update... Things have just been going on. Sorry! :p So I put in some uhm "good" time between Hanna and Emily.. Sorry I suck at writing sexual scenes x_x BUUUT there is some.. For how long though? ;) Hope you enjoy this chapter, don't forget to leave a review. PM me on here, DM me on Twitter, or send me a message on Tumblr on what you want to have happen in future chapters. Your opinions make the story! I tried to write in what some requested so, ENJOY! ~ShayMitchCanada**_

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**Hanna's POV**

The second we got home I pounced on Emily. I so desperately wanted to do to her exactly what she did to me this morning. The first thing I did was attach my lips to her neck, based off out texts today I knew how bad she wanted to feel my lips on hers, and I wasn't going to be so quick to give her that. I snaked my hand up her shirt roughly massaging her breast over her bra, I wished I could go under it to feel her warm, soft skin. I leaned in going right for her neck sucking on it in different places trying to find her sweet spot, the second I heard a moan escape her mouth I took her hand dragging her up to our room. I had her body pressed against the closed door, my hand grazed against her soft skin pulling her shirt over her head. I was shocked in all honesty, I had thought she wanted to wait until our one month anniversary.

"Damn Em, you're beautiful," I said before giving her a slow, gentle, passionate kiss. I moved my hands up to the straps of her bra, instantly she tensed up, my brows furrowed at her action. She had continued kissing me back, sending me mixed signals whether or not to go further. Trusting my instincts, I slowly let my hand trail above her waistband, without hesitation I slipped my hand down, before I got to my destination she pulled back.

"No, Han we can't do this." She said sternly.

"Babe I thought _this_ is what you wanted," I replied pulling her body back into mine, shoving my hands down her pants, just as I was about to place my lips on hers she pushed me away.

"Hanna, stop. Keep your hands off me"

My heart felt like it had just been shattered into a million pieces there was no reaction to any of this, the girl I loved just walk out on me just as we were about to take the next step. Where did she go? What did I do? Why did she just leave me like that? Does Emily not love me? I was beyond hurt, Emily had been the one to fully make me love and trust someone again, and that… just hurt. After some time I ended up calling her and texting her, it was starting to get dark and all I really wanted to know is if she was safe, she didn't have to come.. but I needed to know if she's okay. Call after call and text after text, there was no answer and no reply. I sat in my bedroom, in tears, with emptiness consuming me. I was constantly replaying everything that happened. How could this day start with me waking up with the love of my life beside me to going to bed alone.

There was a light knock on the bedroom door, my heart was racing, hoping it was always. To my dismay, it was my mother. "Hanna honey are you okay?"

"Yeah mom, I'm fine," I said giving her a weak smile.

"If you're fine why do you have tears in your eyes? And where is Emily?"

Hearing Emily's name hurt a lot more than I had anticipated. "Sh- She's gone," I couldn't hold back I starting bawling my eyes out as my mom held me.

"Did you guys break up?"

"No, I don't know. She just walked out an- and I've been trying to ca-call her but she won't answer," I was broken, even if it was probably my fault she left. "Please mom, just don't ask why she left." Knowing my mom she was curious.

"Shh, it's okay Hanna, she'll show up when she's ready. She may just need her space right now. Get some rest now, you'll see her at school tomorrow Goodnight."

"I hope so, goodnight mom." After what felt like forever I drifted into a slumber.

**Emily's POV**

Walking out of the house I didn't have any plans, I didn't know where I was going but I needed space away from Hanna. Everything that just happened in there felt all too familiar, the only difference was it was with a person I love, the thing was that I didn't want it to happen like that, Hanna seemed a bit _too_ aggressive… Ever since last year I couldn't go through that again. I had finally made a decision to go right to Aria's house. Her parents were always welcoming. As I pulled up to the driveway I noticed Spencer's car was also there, I walked up to the door and rang the bell.

"WOO LOOK WHO IT IS IT'S EMILY," Aria called up to Spencer when she swung the door open, I lifted my head meeting her eyes. Immediately a worried look washed over her face, "Em, come in, what's wrong? Where's Hanna?"

"She's.. at home.."

"What, why?"

"It's a lot to explain, can we just go upstairs. I'd rather talk to you and Spencer at the same time instead of explaining twice."

"Yeah sure, let's go." i followed Aria up the stairs, walking into her bedroom.

"Hey Em!" Spencer said loudly, after a few seconds she looked at me again "wait…. What's wrong and where's Hanna?"

"I asked the same thing," Aria said.

"She's at home," I said again for the second time.

"Why? Are you two okay?"

"That's what I came here to talk about…"

"Please don't tell me you guys broke up," Spencer said giving me a sad look.

"No, we didn't.. well at least I don't think we did.. I kind of just walked out on her in the middle of _something_…"

"Wait, like…." Aria started off.

"No, not _that_. But something close to that. It just all felt too familiar."

"Woah Em… Start talking, we need details." Spencer said.

"Remember what happened with Ben last year?"

"Did Hanna try to rape you?!" Spencer yelled out.

"Spence… You wanna let her finish before you jump to conclusions?"

"Sorry… continue Em."

"In all honesty it felt like Ben on me not Hanna, she was just so forceful even when I said to stop, I think I just need some time away from her which is difficult since I live with her… I still can't believe she did that especially when I told her no…"

"Did she hurt you?" Spencer asked.

"No, the one thing that hurt me is that she continued.."

"She said she would never hurt you either.." Spencer said irritated.

"Spencer, Hanna doesn't know Emily almost got raped last year, I'm not okay with her trying to get in your pants that way Em, but don't you think she kind of deserves an explanation too?"

"Yeah, but don't you think me telling her to stop would have sent a clear message that I didn't want to go there? I need a couple days to breathe .. and think about this."

"Well, you're welcome to stay here."

"Thank you Aria."

* * *

A whole week had gone by… A WEEK! I had constantly been getting calls and texts from Emily, I would see her in English class but she wouldn't really try to talk to me, any time she'd come over Spencer would get in the way and simply tell her I don't want to speak with her, truth is though I did want to speak with her but I was still hurt and I could clearly tell she was too.

Hanna's POV

Sitting through English class was agonizing. It was so hard not talk to the girls, but it was especially hard not talking to Emily. I was glad that she was okay, but I still hadn't known where she was staying, every time I would try to talk to her Spencer would get defensive.

**Come to my house after school, Emily has been staying here for the past week and Spencer won't be there. I'm tired of you guys not talking. We're supposed to be best friends. -Aria**

I read the text feeling happy, I just hope Emily doesn't reject me even when I show up.

**Okay, thank you Aria -Hanna**

Just as I sent the text the bell had gone, I headed home first just to kill some time before getting to Aria's, I walked up and rang the doorbell.

"Hey Han," Aria said. "Can we talk just before I let you go to Emily?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Spencer and I know what you almost did.. Next time if Emily tells you to stop just stop.. I know you both want each other, and you wanted her a lot more in that moment but she went through something last year, let her explain that to you. Please just make up so we can all be okay again, I've missed you and Emily's missed you. Surprisingly Spencer has too even though she's been a bit hostile to you.. Anyways just talk to Emily and take her home because since she's been here all she's talked about is you."

"I've missed you guys too and I know I screwed up but her leaving me like that kind of hurt me too…"

"I know it did, your face made it very clear this whole week. Now go! Make up! I'll be down here so you guys can have your privacy."

I headed up the stairs to Aria's room, walking up each step my heart began to race, to be fully honest I was scared to see Emily because I know I hurt her, I'm not sure why her reaction was so bad but hopefully I find out after today… this has gone on far too long. When I got to Aria's bedroom door I pushed it open gently hoping not to startle Emily.

"Hanna?!" she said confused, "wha-what are you doing here?"

"Something that I should have done right after you walked out. Emily you're my girlfriend, the love of my life. A week without you hurt like a bitch, but what hurt more was you walking out. I'm sorry I forced myself on you….. I just thought you.. you know.."

"Loved you?"

"Yeah," I said looking down.

"Don't look away.. I do love you, don't get me wrong, it's just what you did triggered a memory.."

"Woah, wait, what!?" I said loudly as I moved across the room to sit beside her. "Would you tell me what happened?" I asked in a softer tone.

She sighed heavily before starting, "it was last year, with my ex Ben. I was changing after swim practice and he tried to… rape me. Thankfully Spencer's boyfriend came in and kinda beat him up.."

"Does he still go to Rosewood High?! I swear to god if he does!"

"Hanna, relax.. please," Emily said trying to ease my tense nerves.

"I'm sorry I just.. Why didn't you tell me? I would have backed off… A lot."

"Well, it's in the past and I didn't expect you to do that, we said after a month not two weeks in."

"I'm sorry.. it's just that…" I started to say before I sobbing.

"Just what?" Emily asked with concern filling her voice."

"This definitely isn't an excuse but, I just love you so much, although I hate to admit this I feel like making love to you is the only to have you stay with me forever… Right?"

"Wrong. We're in love, that's not going to change any time soon."

**Emily's POV**

Hearing Hanna come in and say that to me broke my heart, sure what she did gave me an instant flashback of Ben, but that's in the past. It doesn't matter. Right now what mattered is why Hanna thinks having sex is the only way to keep me around**. **After I told her that she and I were in love she didn't reply. Regret filled her eyes. Not knowing what else to do I leaned in connecting our lips, this was a kiss fuelled by love, passion and regret. After a couple of minutes she pulled away.

"Why did you leave me and not come back for a whole week?" This time Hanna's eyes were filled with something I wish I would never see again, _pain_. I knew Hanna's biggest fear was having anyone walk out of her life.

"I'm sorry, I just needed a bit of space. Can we both just forget that we hurt each other and just work through it?:

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she said kissing me softly. "You know falling asleep without your arms wrapped around me is hard.."

"I know, I can tell," I said while tracing the bags under her eyes, "how about we go home, cuddle and you can get some rest?"

"Sounds perfect."

We walked downstairs, gripping on to each other's hands.

"So I see you two have made up,"Aria said smiling.

"Yep we did, thanks for letting me crash here for the week and also texting Hanna to come and make up with me today. We're gonna head home now."

"Really Em, it's not problem. Same goes for you Hanna! Ever need a place to crash, I'm here. Bye guys!"

* * *

As soon as we got home we kicked our shoes off and headed upstairs into _our_ room, and right to the bed. I pulled a soft, warm blanket over us and wrapped my arms around Hanna. From there on, I knew I never wanted to sleep unless she wasn't there with me.


End file.
